


who lives, who dies, who tells your story

by Sanna_Black_Slytherin



Series: white house 'verse [16]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alexander Hamilton: national bisexual disaster, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, American Politics, Angst, Banter, Everyone competes to be sass master of America, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hamilsquad, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, President Hamilton, Pride Parade, references to past sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 05:03:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10609821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanna_Black_Slytherin/pseuds/Sanna_Black_Slytherin
Summary: Eliza tapped her fingers against the table, considering her answer. “I think that, ultimately,” she said at length, “it falls toeach personto tell their own story – their own version of the truth, their own experiences – just as it will eventually fall to Peggy to tell hers.”In which there is a pride parade and a game of Never Have I Ever, Alexander and Eliza talk, America is the world's reluctant babysitter, and tax reforms.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Eeeeh… Happy birthday, Thomas Jefferson. You were an asshole, sir.
> 
> Without further ado, I present to you the last part of 'The Other 51' challenge.

_James T. Cal_ @JamesCal  
@AdotHam I don't want to see no trans kid in my bathroom is not normal and very disrespectful toward us. Stop bill!

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
@JamesCal Here's a little truth: when you claim that transgender people go into public restrooms with the sole purpose of sexually assaulting (1/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
@JamesCal our children, it doesn't so much say something about transgender people as it says something about you. (2/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
@JamesCal I'm not sure that I want you in ANY public restroom if the first thing you associate with public bathrooms is sexual assault. (3/14)  
_4 922 738 reblogs_

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal Besides, if you're a sexual predator, you don't actually need to have the law on your side. They don't need LOOPHOLES in the law, simply (4/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal because they don't give a shit about the law. This isn't about sexual predators – this is about you being uncomfortable with your own (5/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal identity to the point of preventing others from expressing theirs. As to the privacy argument, it essentially culminates in the belief that (6/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal only people of the same gender should be able to use the same restroom so that you're able to keep your privacy and not be exposed to (7/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal other people's staring at your genitals. This is just pure heteronormative bullshit. What about anyone who isn't straight? Which, for your (8/14)  
_9 210 239 reblogs_

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal information, includes about ten percent of America. Second, I don't know about YOU, but my sole goal for visiting a restroom isn't to stare (9/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal at or grope other people's junk, it's quite the opposite. It's awkward to see other people exposed that way, and I'd like to avoid that if (10/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal at all possible, and I say that as a BISEXUAL. It's awkward for everyone involved. What if we simply create gender neutral bathrooms with stalls, (11/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal such as those in female bathrooms in most states? That way, nobody has to watch anyone pee, and your 'sexual predator' and 'privacy' (12/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal arguments become invalid. And finally, the transgender population is VERY LOW, somewhere around 0,1%, in America, so the (13/14)

 _Alexander Hampton_  @AdotHam  
@JamesCal chances of you personally meeting a transgender person in a public restroom are absurdly low. Stop using that as an argument. (14/14)

 _Peggy Scott_ @margarita32  
@JamesCal Which is @AdotHam for 'this bathroom bill will go through or so help me God'.

* * *

_Featured BuzzFeed articles:_

22 Times When Hampton Was The Snarkiest Person On Twitter

This 'Earth Is Space Australia' Meme Has Taken Over The Internet And It's Glorious

Tax Reform – What Are The Consequences?

39 Oddly Satisfying Photos

5 Ways Amatonormativity Sets Harmful Relationship Norms For Us All

Proof Humans Are Weird

18 Things People Definitely Weren't Supposed To Eat

41 Inexplicably Strange Things Humans Do

20 Things That Are A Boy's Best Friend (No Diamonds Here, Folks)

* * *

 _New York Post_ @nypost  
Tax reform calls for tax increase for wealthy. Upper class in uproar!  
_4 390 291 reblogs_

 _Donald J. Trump_ @realDonaldTrump  
I refuse to pay more than necessary for something I'll pay for personally anyway. Why should @AdotHam benefit from MY money? UNFAIR!

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
@realDonaldTrump People less fortunate than you benefit from this because we're in this TOGETHER, as a nation. The idea isn't 'each man for himself, (1/2)

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
eat your neighbors'. It's called the UNITED States of America, not the SPLIT States of America #civilwar #wetrieditalreadyguysremember #itdidn'twork (2/2)

 _Ben Batch_ @BenBatch  
@AdotHam My hard-earned money is a result of my labor and the government has no rights to it. It's called STEALING.

 _Ben Batch_ @BenBatch  
Why should I pay for other people's interests?

 _Frederick Schmidt_ @HugMeFuckMe  
@BenBatch We keep you safe. There are countless invisible benefits that we can only afford as a result of imposing taxes on our denizens.

 _Peggy Scott_ @margarita32  
Here comes the President!

 _John Lawrence_ @JdotMraw  
Everybody put your guns down!

 _Peggy Scott_ @margarita32  
Here comes the President!

 _John Lawrence_ @JdotMraw  
Alexander Hampton!

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
You are outgunned!

 _George Westchester_ @vineandfigtree  
What!

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
Outmanned!

 _George Westchester_ @vineandfigtree  
What!

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
Outnumbered, outplanned!

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
PAY YOUR FUCKING TAXES  
_7 892 311 reblogs_

* * *

 _Trending now:_  
#presidenthamilton  
#kittens  
#civilwar2  
#taxes  
#blacklivesmatter  
#thanksdrawwood  
#destiel  
#immigration  
#hamlet  
#hamilcat

* * *

 _Chat: Hamilsquad2k15_  
_POTUS_ : west wing at 9pm  
_POTUS_ : never have I ever with the whole gang  
_POTUS_ : have managed to get everyone to come  
_WarSec_ : count me in  
_TreaSec_ : already promised lysander les mis on broadway  
_PressSec_ : what kind of a twelve-year-old likes Broadway?  
_VPOTUS_ : Lysander Drawwood, apparently.  
_VPOTUS_ : Also, FINALLY.  
_VPOTUS_ : I've got so much on everyone, it's not even funny.  
_POTUS_ : tjeffs is going to be there  
_POTUS_ : whoever claimed that revenge isn't sweet clearly hasn't played never have I ever

* * *

“Never have I ever owed more than a thousand dollars in book fines,” Angelica began primly.

Alexander and Lafayette brought out a copious amount of alcohol and proceeded to pour everyone a drink. Alexander then sat in front of Lafayette and leaned back into his fiancé's arms, which had caused Peggy to coo. Eliza and John looked away momentarily, accidentally meeting each other's eyes in the process, and seeing the same longing, if distant after all this time, still present in them.

George glared as he reached for his glass. “It was a misunderstanding,” he protested among everyone's cheers.

Martha patted his arm in consolation. “Whatever you say, hon,” she said sweetly. She then turned to Alexander. “I'm frankly surprised that you haven't amassed a thousand-dollar overdue debt yet,” she remarked.

Alexander shot her an affronted look. “I always finish my books in under three days,” he pointed out, “and, unlike _others_ ,” he smirked at his adoptive father and erstwhile commander, “I don't forget about their existence. Not that the modern library system would have let me,” he considered, “but still.”

George groaned. “You'll never let it go, will you?”

“Nope,” Alexander popped the 'p' merrily.

“Never have I ever gone on a fishing trip,” Hercules declared.

Alexander, Thomas, and George all reached for their glasses. Alexander elbowed Lafayette. “ _Boire_ ,” he ordered.

Lafayette pouted innocently. “ _Pourquoi, mon petit lion_? I have done no such thing,” he claimed.

George coughed, diverting everyone attention at him. “Actually,” he began, “in the interest of keeping this game honest, I can and will testify that you _did_ ,” he concluded, ignoring Lafayette's betrayed look.

“There,” Alexander pushed Lafayette's glass into his chest.

Lafayette took it mechanically, then shot another betrayed look at George before drinking deeply. “Happy?” he mocked, although the tone wasn't quite as angry as it ought to have been.

“ _Ouais_ ,” Alexander said, either oblivious to Lafayette's tone or ignoring it.

“Never have I ever died broke,” Theodosia said, watching as Alexander, Eliza, James, Thomas, George, and Peggy all drank.

She quirked an eyebrow at her younger sister, to which Peggy shrugged. “My husband sucked at finances,” the agent explained vaguely.

“Never have I ever caused an explosion with a bottle of ginger ale,” Lafayette said resolutely. He stared as his fiancé and the vice president both drank.

“ _Really_ , James?” Peggy spoke. “Alexander, I had expected, but _you_?”

James was grinning. “It involved a bottle of ginger ale, a package of mentos, and a fire extinguisher, to be specific.”

“And you still can't prove the specifics,” Alexander told Lafayette, who sputtered.

“But you just admitted–!” he began, then, realizing the futility of it, trailed off with a grumble.

“Never have I ever sighed a treaty without reading it because I didn't know the language,” John snickered, stifling a laugh as George glared at him over the rim of his glass.

Martha obligingly reached for the bottle, refilling her husband's glass with an innocent look. “You're going to need it,” she told him.

“I fear that you may be correct,” George sighed.

“Never have I ever pretended that my knife and fork were drumsticks and play music on the table during dinner parties,” James declared.

George reached for his drink. “Fuck you,” he said half-heartedly to James.

“No, thank you,” James replied with a sarcastic smile.

“Never have I ever said that my pet is smarter than my entire cabinet,” Eliza declared, to which Alexander and James both reached for their drinks.

“Alexander,” Lafayette warned, his eyes flashing angrily.

“It was _once_ ,” Alexander defended himself.

“That's what you _always_ say.”

“Moving on!” Alexander said loudly. “Never have I ever claimed that my political opponents had prostitutes shipped over from overseas,” he grinned at James.

“No,” Thomas sneered, “you simply slept with a woman who was as good as one,” he then recoiled from John's glare. “Too soon?” he sighed.

“Too soon,” Eliza confirmed with pursed lips.

“Is it my turn?” Schmidt perked up. “ _Good_. Never have I ever been part of a convention that went out and got drunk off their asses two days before signing a very important document,” he said pointedly, smirking in George's direction, “resulting in, among other things, a broken chair, cups, and a chamber pot.”

“I hate you,” George declared. “I hate you all.”

“Don't worry,” Alexander said consolingly, clinking his glass against his father's, “Jemmy will lose, no matter how few drinks he'll drink. He's the most lightweight person I know.”

“When you put it like that, the Constitutional Convention doesn't sound very… well, formal,” Aaron said awkwardly.

George, Alexander, and James exchanged knowing looks, then as one, said simply, “It wasn't.”

James reached for the wine bottle, intending to refill his glass, but wobbled, almost crashing into the table. Thomas caught him and settled him back into the couch, then refilled his friend's glass himself. “Careful,” he said quietly. “It's a game, not a race to get hurt.”

“Never have I been called an endearing French nickname,” Philip declared, amidst George and Alexander's resounding groans.

Peggy grinned savagely. “We can always fix that, _mon cher crétin_ ,” she replied sweetly.

“It doesn't count if you did it after I said it,” Philip protested.

“Too bad,” Peggy shrugged. “Here, have a drink anyway.”

Philip glanced between her and the glass, then shrugged as if to say, _legit enough for me,_ and, grinning, took a deep sip from it. “Jesus Christ, that's good.”

“Watch your fucking language in front of the President,” Peggy grinned.

Philip snorted. “Pegs, you make hypocrisy into an _art_.”

John considered this. “I wouldn't exactly call it an _art_ ,” he said slowly, “but certainly a unique talent.”

“What _does_ classify as art, then?”

John shrugged. “If it’s large, ugly, in a public place, and you don’t understand it, it’s probably art,” he said simply.

“But–“

“Never have I ever founded a newspaper just to trash-talk my political rivals,” Martha chirped before another discussion could begin.

Hercules blinked. “That is–“ he frowned, settling on, “oddly specific.”

“But applicable in more than one case, given the company,” Martha returned as Alexander and Thomas glared at each other, then simultaneously downing their drinks.

“Never have I ever insulted royalty just to get out of living arrangements,” George said with a glance at Lafayette, who shrugged.

“I do not deny it,” he told his friend.

Peggy coughed, catching everyone attention. “Never have I ever had a crush on Alexander Hamilton,” she grinned.

Eliza, Angelica, John, Lafayette, and Thomas all reached for their glasses. Everyone stared at Thomas as he, in vain, tried to inconspicuously take a sip.

“I did _not_ need to know that,” Philip muttered.

“This is awesome,” Alexander declared with more enthusiasm than the situation warranted. Aaron mentally calculated the amount of alcohol the man had already consumed, wincing at the numbers. “And creepy.”

“Definitely creepy,” Peggy nodded in agreement.

“Never have I ever called Napoleon 'great and good friend' even when I have been told to call him 'Emperor',” Thomas grinned.

James groaned. “ _Et tu, Brute_?” he said dramatically, taking a sip and closing his eyes. He breathed deeply.

Alexander contemplated his vice president. “I give him five minutes,” he estimated.

Lafayette snorted. “Nobody is _crétin_ enough to take that bet.”

“Never have I ever gotten my constituents totally smashed so they would vote for me,” Aaron smirked. George glared silently.

“I don't understand you,” Hercules suddenly admitted.

George furrowed his brows. “What's there to understand?” he questioned.

“Because,” Hercules exhaled, as though having run a marathon, “one minute, you're crossing enemy lines to return Howe's lost puppy to him, and the other, you refuse to talk to the guy because he didn't address you properly.”

“In all honesty though,” John unexpectedly came to George's defense, “Howe was an incompetent idiot of hitherto unbelievable standards.”

“I think Alexander even has a six-page essay on every mistake Howe did, and how he could have defeated us by simply _not being an imbecile,_ ” Lafayette added.

Alexander shrugged. “I needed to vent,” he explained in response to the curious looks thrown his way.

“Never have I ever been a Freemason,” Angelica declared, watching as half of the room took a drink.

“Alexander, I can almost _hear_ your smirk. Are you _still_ angry about that?” James muttered, eyes still closed. “It's not _my_ fault,” he whined.

Alexander coughed. “Do I need to bring up the prostitutes again?”

James merely groaned in response. This caught the attention of everyone else. “Prostitutes?” Eliza asked, wrinkling her nose. “What prostitutes?”

Alexander smirked. “Our dear Jemmy here,” he gestured at the shorter man, “once 'accidentally' – or so he claims, anyway – bought prostitutes for foreign ambassadors. We used that in our last Never Have I Ever, actually.”

“The one to which we hadn't been invited, you mean,” John interjected with a glare, to which Alexander simply rolled his eyes.

“You didn't remember yet,” he defended himself. “It wasn't our fault,” he unknowingly echoed James' words from before.

”Never have I ever slept with my boss,” Hercules declared.

” _Again_?” Lafayette whined but drank obligingly.

”Hamilton,” Thomas said pointedly. ”We all know about you and Washington,” he said, ignoring George's sudden blush and Martha's stifled snicker.

Alexander positively growled. ”I did _not_ fuck George Washington, moron,” he retorted.

“Never have I ever lit myself on fire while trying to light a candle with a gun,” Theodosia said, ignoring a betrayed look from the man who used to be her father.

Peggy stared. “Burr, _why_?” she asked rhetorically.

Alexander smirked. “Keep in mind that this is the same person who had a knife hid in the handle of his umbrella, only to then lose said umbrella. Aaron was a _mess_.”

Lafayette suddenly grinned. “Here's a good one from the last time. Never have I ever been president of the United States,” he said gleefully, watching as Alexander, James, Thomas, and George all drank obligingly. “We're only really missing John Adams,” he mused, “for the full set.”

Alexander snorted. “The full set of what?” he echoed. “Keep in mind that John Adams is the guy who accidentally sent his diary along with documents for Congress to read, and, Congress being Congress, they read _that_ instead of the papers they were _supposed_ to be reading.”

“You aren't really the best person to criticize others for releasing inappropriate documents,” Eliza admonished.

“I've already apologized for it. Profusely,” Alexander replied, not unapologetically. “And I, at least, knew what I was doing,” Thomas snorted at that, muttering something along the lines of 'doubtful'. Alexander ignored him, instead passing around a few bottles for refills.

“Never have I ever bothered to learn a fictional language,” John said.

Alexander took a sip with a grin; to everyone's surprise, so did Aaron. “Really?” Alexander raised an eyebrow.

Aaron shrugged. “Tolkien was a genius,” he said, then looked over at James, who was curled in against one of Alexander's sides. Fleetingly, he thought back to how touch-repulsed James used to be. He still was, Alexander admitted, but he seemed to have at least let Alexander in, and Alexander would lie if he said that the thought didn't warm his heart. He gently settled a hand in James' hair, absentmindedly beginning to comb through them. James made a content noise, which Alexander took for approval. “Okay,” he said, quieter than before, “Jemmy seems out. Eliza?”

“Never have I ever almost started an international war by greeting foreign diplomats in my pajamas,” Eliza said calmly, smiling viciously as Thomas and James exchanged meaningful looks before simultaneously reaching for their glasses.

“Never have I ever spent an entire night trying to fight my friend because I was convinced they were trying to steal my girlfriend,” Alexander declared, watching Lafayette glower as he raised the glass to his lips.

“You totally would have, though, if it came down to it,” John pointed out.

“Never have I ever,” Schmidt said lazily, “declared a dictator the 'greatest man that ever lived' just to annoy my rival.”

“Wait,” Thomas furrowed his brows, “so the thing with Caesar–“

“Not true,” Alexander confirmed.

“Alexander Hamilton,” Peggy snorted, “the sass master of New York.”

“Never have I ever vandalized one of Shakespeare’s chairs by chipping off chucks to keep as souvenirs,” Philip smirked.

“Shut up, Hamilton Junior,” Thomas said. “It was an accident.”

Alexander scoffed. “How can you _accidentally_ chip off chucks to keep as souvenirs? That takes _planning_ , dear Mr Jefferson.”

“Never have I ever had an animal named after me,” Martha smirked at Alexander. “Meow,” she added mockingly

“I feel singled out,” Alexander muttered.

“What about this one?” George added. “Never have I ever talked for longer than two hours without a break.”

“I believe that getting one's kid drunk can be classified as bad parenting,” Alexander told her, reaching for the bottle to refill his glass, having run out. “What say you, Mr Attorney General?”

“I do believe that you may indeed be correct, Mr President,” Aaron replied.

“Never have I ever gotten arrested for riding a carriage on a Sunday,” Peggy said, “though I know of certain people who _have_.”

Hercules rolled his eyes as Thomas drank. “And to think, I once thought you a serious president.”

“Then you were the only one,” Alexander replied. “I could never take Jefferson seriously, especially not after I discovered his obsession with magenta.”

“It's not my fault you don't have a sense of fashion,” Thomas protested, “and never have I ever attended a pantsless party.”

Alexander, John, Lafayette, George, and Schmidt all obligingly drunk, shit-eating grins on their faces. “It was a good party,” John shrugged shamelessly.

“Never have I ever been petty enough to actually list thirty years of disagreements," Aaron said.

“No, you _demanded_ them,” Alexander replied flatly.

“Never have I ever been given a thousand-pound wheel of cheese, which no 'federalist cows' were allowed to contribute to,” Angelica said sharply. “We all remember that, don't we?” she smiled at Thomas, who glowered.

“Never have I ever gotten myself imprisoned in Pennsylvania,” Hercules said, watching in amusement as John drank.

Alexander snorted, but didn't reach for his glass. “You should have saved that one for Drawwood.”

“Well, she's not here, is she?” the tailor rolled his eyes.

“Where is your female doppelgänger, anyway?” Thomas frowned.

“Broadway,” Alexander said. “Les Misérables,” he elaborated at Thomas' confused look.

“Never have I ever–“ Hercules began.

“Never have I ever lost a checkbook at a bank I helped found,” Thomas smirked, ignoring Hercules' anger at being cut off mid-sentence.

Alexander glared. “Very funny. Never have I ever implied that my political rivals are hermaphrodites.”

“Never have I ever had my letters censured because they were too gay,” Thomas retorted.

Alexander scoffed, even as he drank. “I somehow find that hard to believe,” he said skeptically. “Never have I ever broken a wrist trying to impress a girl,” Alexander continued flatly. “Or faked a migraine for two days after behaving awkwardly in front of a girl I fancied,” he concluded.

“No, because you were gay.”

“The term is _bisexual_ , you ignorant git.”

“Uh,” Peggy said slowly, watching the exchange between Alexander and Thomas with morbid fascination, her head going back and forth as though following a tennis match, “I don't think that this is how Never Have I Ever is supposed to work.”

“You have to admit,” Hercules told her, “that this is far more amusing.”

“It's like they're not even trying anymore!” Peggy pointed at the untouched glasses in front of Alexander and Thomas.

“Never have I ever mounted a bust of my rival on the wall of my house like a hunting trophy,” Alexander snarled.

Thomas scoffed. “Only because your house wasn't big enough. Never have I ever forgotten the password to get into camp after an evening of courting my future wife.”

“Never have I ever had an evil sheep on the lawn in front of the White House which killed people.”

“It killed one person,” Thomas groaned. “ _One_.”

“You shouldn't have had an evil psychopath sheep on your lawn to begin with,” Alexander retorted. “Never have I ever had a dead moose sent to a French diplomat to prove American animals were bigger and cooler than European animals.”

Thomas frowned. “Hey, it's my turn,” he protested.

Alexander shrugged. “Too bad. For the matter, never have I ever kept two grizzly bear cubs in a cage on public view at the White House for a period longer than two months.”

“Does that imply that you _have_ kept a pair of grizzly bear cubs at the White House, for a shorter period of time?” Philip asked.

Alexander bit his lip. “Does Jemmy count?” James glared at him, and Alexander raised his hands in a defensive motion. “I get the message. Oh, I remember a good one! Never have I ever,” he smirked at Thomas, “worn green-tinted sunglasses indoors 'to improve the vision out of doors'.”

“Never have I ever been denied last rites for being an asshole,” Thomas growled.

“Hey, maybe we should stop this whi–“ Aaron began.

As one, twin glares were aimed at Aaron. “Never have I ever,” Alexander began, “been attacked by bedbugs and then proceeding to sleep on the floor for five hours.”

Aaron flushed, but Thomas opened his mouth to add, “Never have I ever described myself in third person.”

“Never have I ever eaten an ice cream too fast and got a brain freeze and thought I was dying, so I wrote a poem about it.”

“Never have I ever tugged on my guests’ sleeves to prevent them from leaving.”

“Never have I ever spent an inordinate amount of money on a coconut.”

“Seven hundred dollars, in fact,” Thomas grinned savagely, “if converted to current currency.”

“Never have I ever hit my head on the same pipe twice.”

“Never have I ever tried to sleep on a boat, only to roll off the bed every time it turned,” Alexander and Thomas said, one easily picking up where the other left off, the rapidity of their speech sounding a little like an insistent buzz.

George groaned. “I now remember why it's a good thing they never agreed on anything. Had they been working together, I doubt that the country would have been standing.”

“Or,” Angelica said sharply, “we would have reached gender and race equality a long time ago.”

George contemplated this. “Or that,” he conceded. “It's a fifty-fifty shot, really.”

“Look on the bright side,” John shrugged, “at least they're agreeing on something. I mean, we all know that agreements between these two are an endangered species.”

“Of which James is the main keeper,” Angelica added. She turned to look at James' sleeping form, but a shout drew her attention back to Alexander an Thomas.

“Never have I ever tried to annex a country.”

“No,” Thomas drawled, “you have only tried to ruin the economy of one.”

“If you had studied any finances at all,” Alexander retorted heatedly, “you would have recognized my genius. Even _your_ Treasury Secretary did,” Alexander said smugly. “So there.”

“What are you? _Five_?” Thomas shook his head.

“That's like the Toydarian calling the Jawa cheap,” Alexander told him flatly.

George shot a look in James' direction. The man in question had, sometime during the past few moments, managed to fall asleep – a feat George privately thought impressive, considering how much ruckus Alexander and Thomas were making. “I do believe that we should call an end to this party,” he said loudly, his voice breaking through the argument.

Lafayette looked around. Alexander being preoccupied with his… discussion with Thomas, it seemed that it fell to the First Gentleman to guide everyone to their bedrooms. “Very well,” he decided, standing up. He ignored Alexander and Thomas' arguing, though he did wonder how James could sleep, with the noise the two were making. “I'll show you to your bedrooms.”

“Do you need help with–“ Theodosia spoke, gesturing at the two men.

Lafayette shook his head. “I will manage. Come on, everyone.”

* * *

By the time Lafayette had managed to make appropriate bedroom arrangements for all guests, the living room had gone suspiciously quiet. Curious despite himself, he peered into the room, and almost melted at the scene before his eyes: sometime during his absence, Thomas has moved to the couch Alexander and James had been occupying, and was leaning into Alexander's other side, head on Alexander's shoulder, while Alexander had essentially collapsed back into the couch, head tilted back and mouth slightly open. All three of them were sound asleep.

Stifling a cooing noise, Lafayette snapped a few pictures for posterity — or Twitter, really, depending on his mood — before deciding to leave the three men where they were.

* * *

 _Tomi Lahren_ @TomiLahren  
I’m pro choice, and here’s why: I am a constitutional, so I can’t sit here and be a hypocrite and say I’m for limited government but still (1/2)

 _Tomi Lahren_ @TomiLahren  
think the government should decide what women do with their bodies. As a Republican, I’m for limited government, so stay out of my body. (2/2)

 _Thomas Jenkins_ @Francoholic  
@TomiLahren: 'As a Republican, I’m for limited government, so stay out of my body.'  
_10 290 346 reblogs_

* * *

The mood over breakfast was decidedly calmer. For one, the two main troublemakers were each nursing a hangover, while Lafayette and John, the heartless bastards that they were, proceeded to make as much noise as possible, resulting in a hush every five seconds, which then led to the other man hushing the first man for hushing too loud, which, in turn, led to a hushing fight only broken by loud noise, which restarted the process.

Despite being on his second cup of coffee, Alexander continued to stare emptily into space, looking but not really absorbing reality quite yet. This, Angelica thought, might be a little problematic in around half an hour, considering that the president had an interview scheduled with the New York Post – although, she amended, since the Post always sent either Sarah or Maria, it wouldn't pose that much of a problem. The two journalists were quite used to Alexander's mood swings at the oddest of hours.

Theodosia had excused herself before dawn, claiming work-related issues. When Angelica blinked in confusion because what kind of work required her to be awake at the crack of stupid escaped her understanding, Philip patted Angelica's shoulder consolingly and told her that he didn't quite know either, despite having been married to Theo for the past four years. Angelica nodded, mentally making a note to run a more thorough background check on Theodosia Prevost Faucette.

By the time the last person – which turned out to be Peggy, a fact which surprised Angelica not at all – Eliza, James, and Martha had put together something resembling breakfast, despite working with a woefully limited amount and variety of food. Alexander didn't believe in breakfasts, Angelica remembered, and Lafayette usually opted for cereal, but James must've stashed some things around the kitchen, because the kitchen table was filled with food that actually looked edible.

Except for the jelly.

“Hey, what's that?” Hercules poked at the dish in question, recoiling when it made a squishing sound and began bouncing back and forth. He frowned. “Is it meant to do that?” he said with no small amount of vigilance.

John shrugged. “Dunno. You don't have to eat it though.”

“Speaking as a doctor, I'd strongly advise against eating… _whatever that may be_ ,” George chimed in, confirming Angelica's suspicions as to the approximate chances of survival after consuming the jelly.

Lafayette hummed. “It reminds me of something our university science teacher once showed us. Remember Dr Johnson?” he poked Alexander's shoulder none too gently, to which Alexander merely grunted. “Both political science and sociology students had one obligatory science class, which we happened to share,” his gesture encompassed himself, Alexander, and James. “Once, our teacher gave us a dozen solutions and wanted us to determine whether they were acidic, basic, or neutral, except that her pH indicator was some bizarre powder–“

“If I recall my chemistry correctly,” James elaborated, “it was a condensed version of dissolved methyl red.”

“–which changed the consistency of the solution,” Lafayette went on, “and so we ended up with like twelve small jelly shots.”

Eliza stared in horror. “You didn't,” she breathed.

Lafayette scoffed. “No, we did not drink them, if that is what you are thinking,” he assured her. “No, we decided to mix all solutions into one, and ended up with a green-brown solution that looked disgustingly like snot.”

“That wouldn't have been a problem, either,” James cut in, “but Gilbert and Alexander then began shouting something akin, what was it? Ah, yes, to 'look, we made snot!', which drew the attention of the entire class as well as our teacher. I still suspect that you were the reason she resigned at the end of that year,” he told the Frenchman.

“Says the person who once broke into the chem lab and, upon being caught by the head of sciences, convinced her to, for a good two hours, let you use liquid nitrogen to freeze and break things in it,” Alexander glowered. “Don't talk to me about weird shit we did in college because _you were just as bad_.”

Lafayette snorted. “This coming from the people who tossed priceless historical documents back and forth in an attempt to figure out who is smarter by 'guessing the age of the document before it lands', almost giving one of the history professors a heart attack.”

Alexander shrugged. “I won.”

“ _You are missing the point_ ,” Thomas scowled.

Peggy grinned. “Speaking of weird science, I used to have this professor who'd buy a huge bottle of rum during fieldwork in Anguilla and let us get wasted because “you’re not underage in Anguilla and we’ll be up all night with the turtle-fucks anyway!”

“I take offense on behalf of the turtles,” John said haughtily.

“You do that,” Peggy waved him off. “That wasn't the worst of it, either. I once saw several fully-degreed individuals throw dry ice at one another in an attempt to change the iPod playlist at the lab. Science teachers in general are _strange_.”

“Says you,” Philip retorted, looking considerably more awake than his former father.

“Hey, remember Dr From?” Lafayette asked James. “Literature teacher, tall, brunette, absentminded?”

James paused. “Wasn't she the one who roped her fellow world-renown lit experts, the _real_ bigwigs, into going to the formal charity dinner at an international research symposium in Vancouver in late December dressed in skimpy Shakespearian costumes?”

“Yeah,” Alexander cackled. “What was it she said afterwards? Oh, yes. 'Because Halloween was that weekend'. Pass the coffee, Laf,” he reached out his hand, but Lafayette merely quirked an eyebrow.

“What is the magic word?”

Alexander rolled his eyes. “ _S'il tu plaît,_ ” he enunciated carefully.

“There,” Lafayette beamed. “That was not _trop difficile_ , was it?”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“The eloquence of the President of the United States continues to astound me,” Thomas drawled.

“Says Mr Nobody Heard My Inauguration Speech Because It Was Too Quiet,” Alexander retorted.

“Nice to meet you, sir, Mr Don't Let Anyone Ruin Your Life When You Can Do It Yourself.”

Aaron sighed. “Can you maybe not argue right now? Save it for later, when the rest of us aren't here to witness the bloodbath,” he made a circular hand movement, as if to encompass the rest of the people there.

“Right, Aaron. We wouldn't want you to have an opinion, right?” Alexander smirked. “It might hurt you.”

Aaron sighed. “Have I not told you before that being an obnoxious bastard would be your doom?”

Alexander ignored Eliza and John tensing up at such a display of flippancy. “To be fair,” Alexander pointed out, “you were my doom, in the end. Don't try to shift the blame onto abstract concepts – they cannot act. _People_ act,” Aaron looked away, and Alexander winced. “ _Shit_ ‚ sorry, I didn't mean it like–“

“Talk less, Alexander,” Aaron interrupted him, forcing a smile onto his face. “It would do you much good, and James wouldn't have to endure cleaning up your messes.”

For someone who values silence, Alexander reflected, Aaron Burr talked an awful lot. It felt like he was always _talking_ about shutting up but never actually did.

“I'm genuinely sorry,” Alexander said after a moment, a little more composed.

Aaron chuckled darkly. “I know,” he did not elaborate.

Angelica looked up from her phone. “Alexander,” she addressed the president, “I do hope that you remember the interview with the New York Post you have in about,” she made a show of looking at the clock, “twenty-two minutes?” Alexander cursed, suddenly far more awake than he was mere seconds ago. Angelica rolled her eyes. “I am going to take that as a 'no',” she said flatly.

“…Maybe?” Alexander replied sheepishly.

Angelica gave a scoff. “Well, then, you now have twenty-one minutes before the interview. I suggest that you make yourself look presentable. Or as presentable as you get,” she amended. “You operate by tenants incomprehensible to the rest of us, after all. To the rest of you: never play Scrabbles with Alexander,” Angelica cautioned. “He tends to use words like 'loquacious' and 'sesquipedalian', though I still haven't figured out how he does that with only seven letters at his disposal.”

“His words _in general_ tend to be loquacious and sesquipedalian,” Aaron added.

“Such as?”

“'Rancor'.”

“'Rancor',” John furrowed his brows, “as in the animal from Star Wars, or 'rancor' as in hatred caused by perceived injustice?”

A sigh. “The latter.”

It was in that moment that the door to the living room, which happened to be the central room in the West Wing suite, burst open and in stormed two journalists, heading directly to the kitchen with an eery familiarity. “I know we're a bit early, but the traffic–“ one of them began, only to stop mid-sentence as they took in the scene: some ten individuals, with the notable exception of Aaron, hunched over coffee, most munching on a toast, staring up at them blearily.

The question must have showed in their eyes, because Angelica smiled. “Drinking game,” she spoke succinctly. “Hello, Mrs Harrison, Miss Lawrence. Good to see you. I'm afraid that the president will need at least another two cups of coffee before he'll even approach awake.”

At the other end of the table, both Thomas and John tensed, the colour draining from Thomas' face as he watched Sarah Harrison with something akin to trepidation. She met his eyes squarely, briefly studying his face, amusement flickering on her lips, before focusing back on the president.

“Hi, Maria. Hi, Sarah,” Alexander greeted them.

“Hey, hotshot,” Peggy grinned, checking Maria out. “You didn't tell me you were to have an interview with the president.”

Maria raised an eyebrow. “ _You_ didn't tell me you played a drinking game with the president,” she pointed out.

Peggy contemplated this. “Fair's fair, I suppose,” she conceded. “We still on for eight on Friday, Lawrence?”

“I wouldn't miss it for the world, Agent,” Maria smirked.

"Wait," John ordered. "Are you telling me that _you're_ Peggy's new girlfriend?" he asked his sister, voice incredulous. “The one we've been hearing about pretty much non-stop?”

Maria smirked. "Technically, _I_ didn't tell you," she said. “You said it.”

At this, Sally cracked up. She turned to Alexander. "The way it seems to me, sir," she said, "is that your erstwhile boyfriend's sister was your erstwhile mistress, who, in turn, is dating your erstwhile sister-in-law, who right now happens to be your erstwhile son's partner. Oh, and said mistress and sister-in-law are posted by the same actress on Broadway. Have I missed anything?" she said with a shit-eating grin.

Alexander massaged his temples. "This is too fucked up even for me," he murmured.

"Oh, and one more thing," Sally went on. "The lawyer of said mistress was your erstwhile murderer," Aaron winced at that, but Sally ploughed on, "and your current Attorney General, and don't even get me started on myself and Mr Jenkins," she nodded at Thomas, who looked away quickly, not meeting her eyes. Sally sighed, stealing a glance at John, who had wrapped one of his arms around Thomas' shoulders. There was no progress without a possibility of regress, she supposed.

Philip stood up, followed by Peggy. “I'm afraid that we need to cut our visit short,” he spoke. “Our shift begins in a little less than an hour.”

“See you later?” Hercules said after them.

“If we aren't assigned the case of a psychopathic killer, sure,” Philip said.

No sooner had they left, did Thomas stand up. “I've got– a thing at home,” he stumbled over his words, “that needs my attention. It was good to see you.”

Alexander opened his mouth, no doubt to tear apart Thomas' obviously false statement, but faltered at the sight of John's glare that dared Alexander to speak. Alexander scoffed mockingly but didn't comment on the elephant in the room, which Angelica considered progress.

“I wish I could say the same, jerk,” he said, adding, “Have a safe trip home.”

“We will,” John smiled approvingly at Alexander, then followed his partner out.

“Well,” Alexander said finally, “that was awkward.”

“You _think_?” Sally responded, taking the seat Thomas just vacated. Maria sat down next to her in John's seat. “I didn't know you were on speaking terms with Thomas Jefferson,” she continued.

“Thomas Jenkins,” Alexander replied reflexively, “and no, I'm not.”

“You should have seen them ten minutes ago,” Martha added. “I suspected that they'd be at each other's throats in a very literal way any minute.”

“There is a reason why we don't do gatherings very often,” James added. “Or at all, really.”

Maria smirked. “Do invite us to the next one, when–“

“If,” James corrected.

“– _when_ you host the next one,” Maria said resolutely.

“Oh, I will,” Angelica assured her, her expression matching Maria's. “Imagine the _fun_.”

“God save us all,” Aaron groaned, putting his head in his hands.

* * *

Eliza stayed behind after everyone else had left. She waited patiently throughout Alexander's interview with Maria and Sally – something about the energy crisis and Alexander's support of renewable energy sources, she was informed.

When he was done, she trailed after him to the Oval Office. He didn't comment on her presence until after she had closed the door.

“You are distracting me from my work and therefore endangering the progress of our nation,” Alexander teased her.

“Very witty, Alexander,” she said drily. “I'm actually here to have a serious discussion.”

Alexander's expression grew serious. “What happened?”

She sighed. “I think you don't value James nearly as much as you ought to,” she told him. “He does so much for you – he fixes so many of your messes, and you just–“

“I do,” Alexander responded. “Value him, that is. He's my best friend.”

“Really?” Eliza challenged. “What's his favourite colour? What kind of music does he like? What's the name of his pet?” Alexander remained quiet. “You don't know him beyond his official capacity,” Eliza told the president.

“Dark-blue,” Alexander said quietly. “He prefers classical, and is especially fond of Mendelssohn. His current dogs are named Melian and Varda, after the Queen of Doriath and Vaiar respectively. Even if I didn't know James Madison, I _do_ know James Morrow. What brought this on?”

 _Eliza_ met his eyes. “You didn't see James when you had been shot,” she said quietly. “He was devastated.”

“No, I didn't. You might say that I was– otherwise occupied,” Alexander grinned.

Eliza glared. “It's not funny, Alexander. You've been shot twice too many times, and this was too close a call. James was _out for blood_. He cares for you more than you can possibly imagine, and I had to make sure that you didn't abuse that trust, because God knows nobody else will stand up to you.”

“Lafayette will,” Alexander countered. “John will, and so will that idiotic partner of his. Angelica will. Aaron–“

“Not in this way. Not concerning a private matter such as this.”

Alexander's expression softened. “Eliza, you're forgetting that, while James is soft-spoken and reserved, he is also dangerous in his own right. But more to the point, I know that James would be grateful for your intervention–“ Eliza snorted, and Alexander smiled. “I see your point,” he amended. “He would hate the fact that you poked your nose in his private business, but he would also appreciate you taking the time to make sure he's alright.

“Look, I know that I've screwed up more than just my own life more times than I can remember–“

“Nine,” Eliza told him flatly.

“–but trust me on this: James' friendship is too important to me to endanger it.”

Eliza searched his eyes. She was satisfied with what she found. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to see that you've matured,” she murmured. “Don't let me keep you from work. After all, I wouldn't want to 'endanger the progress of our nation',” she teased. “I'll see myself out. I'm glad we had this talk.”

* * *

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
Explain to me how an armed militia is necessary to the security of free states in the modern world. Also, individuals are not militia, they (1/2)

 _Alexander Hampton_ @AdotHam  
are INDIVIDUALS. The 2 nd Amendment was intended for MILITIAS, back when America didn't HAVE alliances or a centralized army and defense. (2/2)

* * *

There was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Alexander replied, looking up from the paperwork he had been hunched over to give his visitor a smile. “Hello, Laf,” he said softly. “Sit down. What's going on?” Still, Lafayette hesitated in the doorway. Alexander sighed. Anything that made _Lafayette_ wary was definitely spectacular, and not in a good way. “Secretary Motier, tell me what the situation is,” he said firmly, an order in his tone.

Lafayette winced. “Remember the crisis from right before you got shot?”

Alexander refrained from rolling his eyes. “Yes, I do remember India and Pakistan's war declaration. As far as I know, they're at a stand-still right now.”

“Mutually assured destruction, yes,” Lafayette confirmed. “They do, however, have a problem with a pair of prisoners.”

Alexander frowned. “A pair of prisoners?”

“India wants its scientist back,” Lafayette clarified, “while Pakistan needs the spy they sent. Privately, it was stupid of either of them to send people not protected by diplomatic immunity over, but stupidity's kind of their thing,” he said offhandedly.

Alexander pinched the bridge of his nose. “So do a prisoner exchange.”

Lafayette shook his head. “I wish it was that simply. They do not trust each other not to pull some kind of a trick,” he added.

Alexander sighed. “And let me guess: they want us to play mediator.”

“Bingo,” Lafayette's posture shifted.

“When did we become the international babysitter?” Alexander asked the empty air.

Lafayette shrugged. “Some might say Bush, others might claim Reagan, while still others might go as far back as Truman.”

“Men's overconfidence,” Alexander summarized succinctly, internally cursing past presidents. "If we try to fight in every revolution, we never stop," he quoted quietly. "Where do we draw the line?" _He_ might be arrogant, but he knew very well that the sentiment was well-deserved. He had, through trial and error – mostly error – learned his limits, but others have not, and now Alexander had to play mediator to two nuclear-capable countries with temper tantrums, preferably solving the dilemma _before_ they decided to annihilate civilization as they knew it.

It was a fortunate thing, he reflected, that he was experienced in solving these kinds of situations. He shuddered to imagine what would have happened, had someone completely inexperienced tried to meddle with the delicate balance that was international politics. There was a _reason_ no civilians ran for the job but chose to gain some experience through either the Senate or the Congress first. It would have been an utter _disaster_ otherwise.

“Well then,” he stood up, straightening his suit jacket habitually, “let's give the kiddos what they want.”

* * *

Alexander looked up from his paper, seeming to dismiss it entirely. In the distance, James groaned. "I know that I should care about miner companies,” Alexander went on, addressing the crowd, “because they're still voters and they're influential, but let's be honest here: this road here, the non-renewable energy road we're on, that's going to end in a cliff, and we're going to suddenly drive off that cliff, but by the time we realize that we maybe should have turned back and taken another road, it's going to be too late.

"So you know what?" he looked around the room, meeting the eyes of every reporter in the room. "I say screw the coal mining industry. Screw the non-renewable energy sources. Yes, I do admit that, initially, it's going to cost us more than it would have, had we continued using coal as our energy source, and it's going to put a slight strain on the currently-existing renewable source companies, but at least this is sustainable. I don't want to look my kids in the eye in twenty years and say that my generation screwed up the Earth when we knew what the problem was and how to fix it. Plus, as soon as people realize that _this_ is where future investment lies, this _will_ become more beneficial than the coal mining industry. Besides, if the only thing keeping you on the side of the coal mining industry are the jobs, it's time for you to wake up – these jobs are a thing of the past; they're not coming back. Everything's mechanized now. The jobs have moved on to the renewable energy sources, chief among them wind and solar energy. _That's_ where the jobs are, and that's where we want to progress.

"Look," Alexander sighed, "at some point, we _are_ going to need to make the switch from non-renewable to renewable energy sources. In the kind of society we live in – one that relies heavily on energy not even for advancement but for mere _survival_ – that isn't avoidable. And I don't know about you," Alexander paused, "but I'd rather make that choice voluntarily and have time to prepare for the eventual change than be suddenly forced into it – and those are the two options we are facing."

* * *

 _Kaydence Merritt_ @quidquidquidditch  
Is that him? #hamwatch

 _Kaydence Merritt_ @quidquidquidditch  
Sorry, false alarm #hamwatch

 _Brendon Chadwick_ @acejolrass  
I just spotted someone looking eerily like #potus by the latino lesbians in the front #potus #hamwatch #lgbt #nypride

 _Mikkel Garrisson_ @LittleRedRidingH00d  
I think he's by the ice cream station #hamwatch  
_[Picture attached]_

 _Lucy Kendrick_ @totallyrealAriel  
@LittleRedRidingH00d no he's obv by the konfetti dispensor #hamwatch

 _Jagoda Kruk_ @Athana  
Is anyone else weirded out by the fact that we're stalking #potus at #nypride #hamwatch

 _Elijah James_ @jeffersauce  
@Athana No, I mean it happens every year so #hamwatch

 _David Knox_ @flightlesspenguin  
In other news, I see @archangel_smith #queenofthefreepress #nypride #hamwatch

 _David Knox_ @flightlesspenguin  
#queenofthefreepress accompanied by #americasfavoritefightingfrenchman #nypride #hamwatch  
_[Picture attached]_

 _Leia Young_ @weshouldhavetakentheeagles  
' #queenofthefreepress accompanied by #americasfavoritefightingfrenchman #nypride #hamwatch ' @FrenchBaguette is that you?  
_[Picture attached]_

 _Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette_ @FrenchBaguette  
@weshouldhavetakentheeagles I am neither confirming nor denying ;)

 _Axel Andersson_ @AgentAddiction  
What are the chances of finding @Francoholic somewhere? #hamwatch

 _Keira Arnett_ @chessorcheckers  
@AgentAddiction The same as spotting #vpotus methinks good luck with that #hamwatch

 _Amir Tahan_ @Spockaholic  
@chesscheckers Honestly, he should show up if for no other reason than #acerepresentation #nypride

 _Obasi Maguire_ @senpaigoat  
@Spockaholic #vpotus said something about how #potus and #vpotus cannot be at the same same place w/o extensive security detail but I call bullshit

 _Monique Kuhn_ @alexandanger  
@senpaigoat Don't force him to attend. If he doesn't want to, it's not mandatory. I mean, RUDE hell yeah, but not mandatory. #nypride

 _Amelia Williams_ @cuddlybearme  
FOUND HIM GUYS #hamwatch #nypride  
_[Picture attached]_

* * *

 _To: Queen of the Free Press  
_ I have lost Eagle One. Send help.

 _From: Queen of the Free Press_  
Mulligan, you had ONE JOB.

* * *

“Mum, I must once again owe you for teaching me French,” Philip said as soon as Eliza answered her phone. She was out getting lunch with Renée and Jazz, but the former was held up at the counter, bantering amiably with the barista, while the latter was scrolling through her phone, trying to give off the impression of Definitely Not Eavesdropping, and failing miserably.

“Not that I don't already know that,” Eliza agreed amiably, “but is there any reason in particular for your call?”

On the other end of the line, Philip sighed. “We've recently agreed to an exchange program between the FBI and the French whatever – mostly to compare methods and to see whether we can optimize them, and they've this guy who barely speaks English. Apparently he's very competent – their very top detective – but his English is about as advanced as my Greek.”

“ _You don't speak Greek_ ,” Eliza said flatly, causing Jazz to look up, having given up on pretending not to listen to Eliza's conversation.

“ _Exactly_ ,” Philip confirmed. “Talking to him is like talking to a wall,” he went on, audible amusement in his voice. “Or dad.”

“Yes,” Eliza sighed, any emotion she felt sputtering out. “I suppose that I can see the similarities between Alexander and a wall. Immovable objects, both of them. They both also lack the basic understanding of human courtesy, as determined by the Society of Adults Dedicated to Thwarting Alexander's Desire To Do Whatever He Wants.”

“Anyway,” Philip continued, “I just wanted to say hi and thank you. Gotta get back to work.”

“It was good to hear your voice,” Eliza said pleasantly, ending the call just as Renée returned.

“Who was that?” the taller woman asked, setting down three coffees in front of her.

“Philip,” Eliza said. “Jazz, has anyone told you that it's rude to listen to others' conversations?”

Jazz grinned shamelessly. “Probably,” she shrugged. “I didn't quite listen.”

Eliza snorted. “You are eerily similar to Peggy.”

Jazz bit her lip. “That's the FBI agent, right?”

“Yes. Partnered with Philip, coincidentally. I believe you met both of them at our performance at the White House,” Eliza added thoughtfully.

“I remember,” Jazz giggled. “She was rather, how shall I put it, _random_.”

“'Irresponsible' is the word you're looking for,” Eliza corrected her. “At least most of the time. She is also brave, sometimes to the point of recklessness, which probably had something to do with her becoming a FBI agent.”

Renée frowned. “Didn't she rescue your baby sister from the British once?”

“She almost got shot,” Eliza retorted, the fondness in her voice belying the admonishment in her words.

“Well, do I do her justice?” Jazz quirked an eyebrow. “Do I tell her story?”

Eliza tapped her fingers against the table, considering her answer. “I think that, ultimately,” she said at length, “it falls to _each person_ to tell their own story – their own version of the truth, their own experiences – just as it will eventually fall to Peggy to tell hers.”

“Just as it falls to us to tell yours,” Renée remarked quietly. “If anyone deserves to have their story told, it's you, Pippa.”

* * *

 _Philippa Soo_ @actual_cinnamon_roll  
Pick up a pen and tell your own story, because nobody else will do it for you.

**Author's Note:**

> Post-fic: Which is quite hypocritical, considering Eliza then spent nearly half a century telling everyone's story but her own, but I'd like to think that this second chance gave her an opportunity to indulge in a little selfishness from time to time. She deserves to be the type to grab the spotlight too, since, in the end, it's because of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton that we are even here, discussing the life of her husband.
> 
> In the end, the musical _Hamilton_ is about the impact three separate lives have had on each other: Who Lives (Aaron Burr), Who Dies (Alexander Hamilton), Who Tells Your Story (Eliza Schuyler Hamilton).
> 
> * * *
> 
> Again, some of the articles have been taken straight out of a newspaper (I do recommend the one about amatonormativity; it's quite a fascinating read), while some are entirely made up.
> 
> * * *
> 
> With that said, I have officially completed the 'The Other 51' challenge, having, with the help of technology, written roughly three times the amount of words that Hamilton did (he wrote about 110k), though the quality of his writing was decidedly superior to this. Besides, I suspect that, had he had a laptop, he'd have written, like, 500k, and Burr would have been recruited to beta him because WORD LIMITS, HAMILTON.
> 
> I had this long list of analyzed categories, but honestly, that's not a very entertaining read. I'll simply say that my quickest write had either been [my friend hamilton (whom I shot)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9611174) (the entire fic in about four hours) or [history has its eyes on you](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9780929) (where writing and editing 2,5k words took about one hour).
> 
> This has been challenging yet _so incredibly fun_ , and I highly recommend everyone to try this.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Quick venting aside: I've just re-watched about four hours' worth of Hillary Clinton's election speeches, and now I'm legitimately crying because we could have had a sane president who actually cared and thought about the consequences of her actions instead of arbitrarily discriminating against everyone and I want to drown myself in fics (or write some more of POTUS!LMM) but then it hits me every time: _that isn't going to change the fact that Trump is still president_ send help


End file.
